The foreign barber who worked in Kenya

Tonight I went to the barbershop. I went for a haircut and trimming of my facial hairs. I do that bimonthly. Did I say bimonthly? I always find that word weird, in the sense that it means two different frequencies. I wonder why the Englishman thought of naming both, twice every month and once every two months, as bimonthly. Anyway, as my Sudanese colleague always says, “English came by boat”. Yeah, he learnt that while in Tanzania. I wish they had just stopped at that - the excuse for their poor grasp of English. However, they also told him that their northern neighbours are rude, loud and greedy, just like hyenas. I am a Kenyan, a fact I always remind him, and I know, and he knows too, that I am not a hyena.

Anyhow, the East African rivalry aside, why was I talking about the salon? Oh, yeah, I remember. Sure, there is nothing unusual about going to the barbershop. But, I always find something weird there. Did I say weird again? Probably I meant the Michael Joseph’s peculiar. Yeah, we Kenyans are peculiar. It’s a matter of fact. And that’s exactly the whole point of this article tonight. Kenyans are weird, peculiar and some other things as well.

Of course, we know why we are peculiar. We are peculiar because we have this habit of making calls during peculiar times. Sorry, I keep on deviating from the salon issue. I know I am a poor story teller. But, don’t be like that inpatient listener. Please bear with me. After all, “I am cooking the whole pot for you and you want to lick the ladle?”

The ladle story aside, I have this uncanny luck of being attended to by the same chap, whenever I show up at the barbershop. There is nothing unusual, or weird, or even peculiar about that. But, the guy once worked in Kenya. Yes, Kenya. The Kenya you and I come from. Of course, there is nothing peculiar or weird about that. Anyone can work in Kenya, even non-nationals. You don’t have to be a Kenyan to work in Kenya. Even Michael Joseph is not a Kenyan and he keeps on making billions for both Safaricom and KRA. Yeah, I understand his happens to be the biggest taxpayer in the country. So, non-nationals can be a boon for us, as well.

However, I do have a problem with non-Kenyans doing menial jobs in Kenya that can be done by our unskilled youth. We of course know that our unemployment rates are high. Some estimates actually put it at over 50%. Thus, with such high figures it’s only prudent we be very mean with our work permits.

Nevertheless, the reality in Kenya can shock you. We import even shoe shiners from a neighbouring country. I don’t begrudge some poor East African who was lucky to find something worthwhile in Kenya. But, we need to prioritise some of these things. Kenyans should always be given the preference. Save for the instances where we can’t find such expertise locally. Like when my banker informed me of his compatriot engineer working in Kenya. He was working for one of the telecommunication companies. I can only assume this company could not get the right candidate in Kenya.

Anyway, it is disheartening when you realize that a foreigner can easily get a job as a hairdresser in Kenya. It shouldn’t matter whether he had or didn’t have a work permit. These are jobs that can easily be done by our youth. Even in the case where they need to be trained, they can be recruited as apprentices. And that wouldn’t cost busineses a lot.

I am happy though. Happy at the fact that today was an important day in Kenyan history. I believe, and as optimistic as all Kenyans, that corruption will soon be a thing of the past. And when that happens, I am sure we will not hear of cases where foreigners come to take our jobs, jobs that we can easily do without some college diploma.

To make matters worse, the said guy showed me a picture of one of his previous clients; a high ranking Kenyan public officer. I think it will be unfair at this point, for me, to name this person. But we need, as Kenyans, to tackle corruption. We also need to name and shame those who break our good laws. I also believe the soon to be reconstituted Judiciary, together with KACC, will effectively be dealing with such issues. The less corruption witnessed in the country the better for Kenyans. Say no to corruption this year, and next year, and forever.

Nepotism in Kenya

In the past, the Ministry of Health used to have problems recruiting staff for the remote and desolate areas of the country. To solve this, therefore, the government came up with the idea of decentralizing the issue of recruitment. That’s why, in 2003, when the Ministry of Health advertised for tens of positions cutting across several cadres, one of which I was eligible for; all the candidates had to report to their preferred provinces for the selections. Thus, if your region was your favourite working place, just like me, then you had to present yourself at the respective provincial headquarters for the interviews.

In my case, the issue was more or less straightforward, or so I thought. My home district and the province in general, were in dire need of health professionals. Staff shortages were the norm rather than the exception in almost all the cadres. Thus, I didn’t even have to think twice about where I will attend the interviews at. So, I chose Garissa and presented myself at our local MTC on the appointed day. The interview went on well and I thought there was nothing to fear about. A job with the ministry was mine to take.

It took several months before the appointment letters were finally issued. Sadly, my name was not among the selected candidates. Not because I was unqualified for the job but due to corruption at the central level - Nairobi. Only candidates who had godfathers were chosen. I will later learn that many MPs canvassed for either their relatives or constituents with out regard to merit.

It, indeed, was a sad realization for me. I became bitter about the whole issue. I was unhappy at the fact that corruption was still rampant in the country. Mark you this was less than a year after the historic inauguration of Kibaki - in 2002. To make the matter worse the ministry sent a staff to Garissa who did not even attend the interviews in my home town. The lucky chap was from Nyeri, the home district of Kibaki.

Later, in Nairobi, I will bump into the chair of the panel and the first question he asked me was where I was posted to. I was stunned at the fact that he recalled me. I told him that I was not selected and that I was still jobless. This made him feel unhappy because, as he will tell me, I was one of the best candidates. He actually said that he was very impressed with my performance. Anyway, he promised to ‘fix’ me somewhere. Thus, less than two months later I will get my first real job ever. I was very grateful at that gesture. I know I will never forget that particular favour.

However, I do not begrudge the guy who was recruited for my home district. One key requirement of the job then was that we had to stick to our posting station without possibility of transfer. With a lot of hindsight I think I might not have fulfilled that condition. I seem to be very mobile when it comes to jobs; maybe it’s because of my nomadic roots. Anyway, I am happy the gentleman was still serving my people when I last checked.

By the way, I wasn’t the only one from my province who applied for the vacant positions then. All of my colleagues with the exception of one were selected. Incidentally, the one who was unlucky like me is now the provincial head, leading some of the guys who were chosen after the interview. I am happy for him too.

Now, coming to why I remembered this story. I currently live in Dubai and rarely get Kenyan newspapers. Yesterday evening, I got the Daily Nation for the previous day. Since I didn’t have much to do, and the fact that such papers are a treasure to me, I read from cover to cover.

While going through the pages, I came across names of some shortlisted candidates for secretarial positions with the government. The names were listed as per the respective province the candidates were to attend their interviews. However, I was shocked when I saw only one name that seemed ‘local’ among the ones listed under Northeastern Province. Curiously, I checked Coast and was surprised there were no apparent Swahili and Mijikenda names. Central Province was interesting; all the shortlisted names appeared to be very indigenous. The other provinces, luckily, did not have any particular community predominating.

I know we have just started our post referendum Kenya. It is too early, therefore, to expect miracles to happen. And I believe it will take time before we rid our country of corruption. However, I am confident that nepotism and other forms of favouritism will cease to happen in our New Kenya in the near future. Anyway, corruption is a learned habit and the same can effectively be unlearned.

Have a corruption free day.