The foreign barber who worked in Kenya

Tonight I went to the barbershop. I went for a haircut and trimming of my facial hairs. I do that bimonthly. Did I say bimonthly? I always find that word weird, in the sense that it means two different frequencies. I wonder why the Englishman thought of naming both, twice every month and once every two months, as bimonthly. Anyway, as my Sudanese colleague always says, “English came by boat”. Yeah, he learnt that while in Tanzania. I wish they had just stopped at that - the excuse for their poor grasp of English. However, they also told him that their northern neighbours are rude, loud and greedy, just like hyenas. I am a Kenyan, a fact I always remind him, and I know, and he knows too, that I am not a hyena.

Anyhow, the East African rivalry aside, why was I talking about the salon? Oh, yeah, I remember. Sure, there is nothing unusual about going to the barbershop. But, I always find something weird there. Did I say weird again? Probably I meant the Michael Joseph’s peculiar. Yeah, we Kenyans are peculiar. It’s a matter of fact. And that’s exactly the whole point of this article tonight. Kenyans are weird, peculiar and some other things as well.

Of course, we know why we are peculiar. We are peculiar because we have this habit of making calls during peculiar times. Sorry, I keep on deviating from the salon issue. I know I am a poor story teller. But, don’t be like that inpatient listener. Please bear with me. After all, “I am cooking the whole pot for you and you want to lick the ladle?”

The ladle story aside, I have this uncanny luck of being attended to by the same chap, whenever I show up at the barbershop. There is nothing unusual, or weird, or even peculiar about that. But, the guy once worked in Kenya. Yes, Kenya. The Kenya you and I come from. Of course, there is nothing peculiar or weird about that. Anyone can work in Kenya, even non-nationals. You don’t have to be a Kenyan to work in Kenya. Even Michael Joseph is not a Kenyan and he keeps on making billions for both Safaricom and KRA. Yeah, I understand his happens to be the biggest taxpayer in the country. So, non-nationals can be a boon for us, as well.

However, I do have a problem with non-Kenyans doing menial jobs in Kenya that can be done by our unskilled youth. We of course know that our unemployment rates are high. Some estimates actually put it at over 50%. Thus, with such high figures it’s only prudent we be very mean with our work permits.

Nevertheless, the reality in Kenya can shock you. We import even shoe shiners from a neighbouring country. I don’t begrudge some poor East African who was lucky to find something worthwhile in Kenya. But, we need to prioritise some of these things. Kenyans should always be given the preference. Save for the instances where we can’t find such expertise locally. Like when my banker informed me of his compatriot engineer working in Kenya. He was working for one of the telecommunication companies. I can only assume this company could not get the right candidate in Kenya.

Anyway, it is disheartening when you realize that a foreigner can easily get a job as a hairdresser in Kenya. It shouldn’t matter whether he had or didn’t have a work permit. These are jobs that can easily be done by our youth. Even in the case where they need to be trained, they can be recruited as apprentices. And that wouldn’t cost busineses a lot.

I am happy though. Happy at the fact that today was an important day in Kenyan history. I believe, and as optimistic as all Kenyans, that corruption will soon be a thing of the past. And when that happens, I am sure we will not hear of cases where foreigners come to take our jobs, jobs that we can easily do without some college diploma.

To make matters worse, the said guy showed me a picture of one of his previous clients; a high ranking Kenyan public officer. I think it will be unfair at this point, for me, to name this person. But we need, as Kenyans, to tackle corruption. We also need to name and shame those who break our good laws. I also believe the soon to be reconstituted Judiciary, together with KACC, will effectively be dealing with such issues. The less corruption witnessed in the country the better for Kenyans. Say no to corruption this year, and next year, and forever.