The foreign barber who worked in Kenya

Tonight I went to the barbershop. I went for a haircut and trimming of my facial hairs. I do that bimonthly. Did I say bimonthly? I always find that word weird, in the sense that it means two different frequencies. I wonder why the Englishman thought of naming both, twice every month and once every two months, as bimonthly. Anyway, as my Sudanese colleague always says, “English came by boat”. Yeah, he learnt that while in Tanzania. I wish they had just stopped at that - the excuse for their poor grasp of English. However, they also told him that their northern neighbours are rude, loud and greedy, just like hyenas. I am a Kenyan, a fact I always remind him, and I know, and he knows too, that I am not a hyena.

Anyhow, the East African rivalry aside, why was I talking about the salon? Oh, yeah, I remember. Sure, there is nothing unusual about going to the barbershop. But, I always find something weird there. Did I say weird again? Probably I meant the Michael Joseph’s peculiar. Yeah, we Kenyans are peculiar. It’s a matter of fact. And that’s exactly the whole point of this article tonight. Kenyans are weird, peculiar and some other things as well.

Of course, we know why we are peculiar. We are peculiar because we have this habit of making calls during peculiar times. Sorry, I keep on deviating from the salon issue. I know I am a poor story teller. But, don’t be like that inpatient listener. Please bear with me. After all, “I am cooking the whole pot for you and you want to lick the ladle?”

The ladle story aside, I have this uncanny luck of being attended to by the same chap, whenever I show up at the barbershop. There is nothing unusual, or weird, or even peculiar about that. But, the guy once worked in Kenya. Yes, Kenya. The Kenya you and I come from. Of course, there is nothing peculiar or weird about that. Anyone can work in Kenya, even non-nationals. You don’t have to be a Kenyan to work in Kenya. Even Michael Joseph is not a Kenyan and he keeps on making billions for both Safaricom and KRA. Yeah, I understand his happens to be the biggest taxpayer in the country. So, non-nationals can be a boon for us, as well.

However, I do have a problem with non-Kenyans doing menial jobs in Kenya that can be done by our unskilled youth. We of course know that our unemployment rates are high. Some estimates actually put it at over 50%. Thus, with such high figures it’s only prudent we be very mean with our work permits.

Nevertheless, the reality in Kenya can shock you. We import even shoe shiners from a neighbouring country. I don’t begrudge some poor East African who was lucky to find something worthwhile in Kenya. But, we need to prioritise some of these things. Kenyans should always be given the preference. Save for the instances where we can’t find such expertise locally. Like when my banker informed me of his compatriot engineer working in Kenya. He was working for one of the telecommunication companies. I can only assume this company could not get the right candidate in Kenya.

Anyway, it is disheartening when you realize that a foreigner can easily get a job as a hairdresser in Kenya. It shouldn’t matter whether he had or didn’t have a work permit. These are jobs that can easily be done by our youth. Even in the case where they need to be trained, they can be recruited as apprentices. And that wouldn’t cost busineses a lot.

I am happy though. Happy at the fact that today was an important day in Kenyan history. I believe, and as optimistic as all Kenyans, that corruption will soon be a thing of the past. And when that happens, I am sure we will not hear of cases where foreigners come to take our jobs, jobs that we can easily do without some college diploma.

To make matters worse, the said guy showed me a picture of one of his previous clients; a high ranking Kenyan public officer. I think it will be unfair at this point, for me, to name this person. But we need, as Kenyans, to tackle corruption. We also need to name and shame those who break our good laws. I also believe the soon to be reconstituted Judiciary, together with KACC, will effectively be dealing with such issues. The less corruption witnessed in the country the better for Kenyans. Say no to corruption this year, and next year, and forever.

The pursuit of a Utopian State is not a priority for Somalia right now

Al Shabaab has done it again. They killed some more people today. For them, the end justifies the means. It doesn’t matter how many innocent people, Muslims or otherwise, get killed. For as long as their goal is to establish an Islamic Khalifate, then anything and everything even the most reprehensible is lawful for them. In their neo-Kharijite interpretation of Islam, anybody who espouses a different opinion other than theirs is an apostate. I wish they had left it there. But, they don’t. They have now perfected the art of killing the so called apostates and of course, their ‘sympathizers’.

Which makes me wonder whether the African Union troops are indeed sympathisers or there to keep the peace. Yes, that elusive peace that Somalis haven’t known for close to two decades. In fact, we have a whole generation that has grown up in Somalia in the post ’91 era that do not know how that much sought after commodity looks like. To them, peace probably is a myth that is found in some ancient fables. It is for this lot that the African Union, and indeed IGAD, is concerned for.

However, the would have been saviours of Somalia are sadly being seen as invaders. Key of the groups that do not see eye to eye with the AMISOM troops is al Shabaab. Al Shabaab thinks that no one should stop them in their attempts at arrogating themselves the powers to lord over Somalis. They obviously, and rightly so, do not have any justifications for their actions. If, indeed, theirs was a holy one, then what do we make of the other militant groups espousing Islam, as well? Who, between al Shabaab, Hizb ul Islam and Ahl al Sunnah wal Jamaa, is based on the correct Islamic approach? With so much diversity of ideology, who are the real Muslims and who aren’t? And, does that make Sheikh Sharif an apostate?

Anyway, if indeed al Shabaab had their way, and for some reason brought all Somalis under an oppressive regime, for theirs is a clearly misinterpreted version of my Islam, what would happen to the other groups? Would they stop the killings and wanton destruction, for salvation has finally come? In my opinion, they wont. Because, each faction thinks the other is wrong and that theirs is the only correct way. It is for this reason that Somalis need to ask themselves, those who benignly or out rightly support these militias, whether the actions of these groups are acceptable.

If, ultimately, the victory of al Shabaab would not translate to peace for Somalis, then why don’t they, beginning from now, seek other methods that would make Somalia more secure and peaceful? Supposing that that eventuality becomes true, would it be good for Somalia? Wouldn’t the international community treat Somalia as a pariah state? Would that be good for ordinary Somalis?

Luckily, alternatives abound. It doesn’t necessarily need to be achieved by the barrel of a gun. And, the earliest Somalis dissuaded anyone from taking arms, either against the current government or other equally armed groups, the better. It is for that reason that I support the largely powerless government of Sheikh Shariff. The least that Somalia needs right now is an armed group that isn’t there to keep the peace but, rather, make it even more elusive.

Somalis need to think of the post ’91 generation, and for their sake, make Somalia a safe and secure country. Somalis also need to think of how to establish state institutions and remove Somalia from the unenviable position of being the world’s worst failed state. Doesn’t the fact that Somalia performs poorly on almost all human developmental indicators prick the conscious of these militias and their supporters?

Ironically, the same group that thinks that the worst enemy of Somalia, and of course Islam, is the West forgets that Somalia entirely depends on the West for her survival, directly or indirectly. Save for the dogged Somali businesspeople, the rest of the population are either already in the West, eking a living there, or entirely depend on humanitarian institutions largely funded from the West, for their livelihood. Even among the businesspeople, it is arguable the proportion that truly made money without any relationship with the West. Thus, for this reason, besides the keeping of peace, they need to be ashamed and put down their arms. Somalia can not afford any more bloodshed.

Also, Somalia can only compete with her neighbours, some of whom are her own sworn enemies, by having a strong government. Such a strong government can only be achieved once all militias, whether justified in their cause or not, put down their arms. And, in the pursuit of a Utopian State, the perpetrators of the never ending carnage should remember that, once their goal is achieved, they would need a well educated labour force. Indeed, all kinds of professionals are needed in Somalia now and in future. The bottom-line, therefore, is that Somalia can only be brought back to the civilised world once the guns are put down, especially the ones against the government. Somalis need to remember that the government needs not be perfect for it to be effective and supported. They need to concentrate only on the strengths of the existing government, while trying to build on its weaknesses.

Voters' literacy levels and the number of rejected votes in their constituencies

You know I like playing with data. Actually, that’s what my work entails. I have to make sense of some array of data and either validate a previously hypothesized theory or reject the same. Occasionally, the data may not produce any meaningful information. This could be as a result of many things. It could, for example, be caused by human error - the most common cause. It’s courtesy of this that we have the infamous GIGO - garbage in garbage out. If the data clerk, or even the analyst, makes a mistake, then that would in most likelihood result in a bias. This would thus, distort the conclusion inferred from the analysis.

In some instances, there could have been mistakes at the data collection stage; either due to a poorly produced tool (questionnaire etc) or the method of administration. Rarely, does this result from a faulty computer or software. When the latter occurs it could be as a result of a bug in the software or even a computer virus.

Deliberate distortion of data can also lead to a bias as well. This may be influenced by some ulterior motives, where the user selectively chooses what to include in the analysis and what not to include.

Anyhow, while reading the online version of the Daily Nation, I came across some breaking news saying that the Kenyan referendum results have been gazetted. This somewhat sprung my statistical curiosity into action.

Since I had preciously visited the IIEC website, I thought I should just check the results once again. Just in case I ‘discovered’ something useful. Anyway, I was happy to see that the results are easily accessible in a .pdf format. I therefore, saved the results on my desktop and exported the tables to an excel sheet.

The first thing that I noticed once I moved the data to an excel sheet was the ‘rejected votes’ column. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular but just happened on that. Anyway, it didn’t take me long to see some negative correlation between the assumed illiteracy and poverty levels of a constituency and the low number of rejected votes. Before you run away, let me explain what I mean by this technical term.

In negative correlation, as the value of one variable increases another somewhat related variable decreases. By variables, here, I mean the poverty and illiteracy levels on the one hand and the number of rejected votes on the other. However, this may not be true if you check for a relationship using the percentage figures. You can only see the association if you use the absolute number of rejected votes.

Please note that I do not, as of now, have data to validate my assumption about the levels of poverty and illiteracy among the constituencies that recorded the least number of rejected votes. I based my hypothesis on a recent study that I read on the Daily Nation portraying NEP as the province that, unfortunately, leads in these two areas. The same was true of the districts in ‘upper eastern’ and some other pastoralist’s areas. I remember Nyanza was also considered as one of the impoverished regions in the country.

Thus, when I saw constituencies mostly from the above regions having the least number of rejected votes, then I thought the reason for this could be the poverty and illiteracy associated with these areas. Here, I am talking of all the constituencies in NEP with the exception of Dujis having less than 100 spoilt ballots. The expansive arid north was also well represented with Turkana North, Moyale, Samburu East, Saku, Laisamis, Isiolo South and North Horr all having less than 100 rejected votes. However, for some reasons, Kathiani and Vihiga are also represented in this category of constituencies with the least number of rejected votes.

Anyway, I can only hypothesize that the higher the literacy level in an area, the more the illiterate voters would want to fit in. They might probably feel ashamed in asking for help during the actual casting of the ballot and thus making them prone to commit some mistakes. On the other hand, the voters from the regions known for their low literacy levels would have no problem informing the IIEC personnel of their inability to vote unaided and thus reducing the probability of rejected vote. This could be the reason behind the low number of rejected votes in the least literate constituencies. Conversely, Starehe, Langata and Embakasi having the highest absolute number of rejected votes.

However, this might not be the only valid conclusion. One other reason could be the high number of voters registered in a constituency and could certainly increase the probability of rejected votes. I will test this last hypothesis in my next article.

Nairobi Hospital 'not for profit'?

I always find Sunny Bindra’s articles in the Sunday Nation and the Business Daily well written and from an astute mind. That, coupled with his optimism of Kenya’s future makes him a must read for me. In fact, I rarely miss his pieces and always look forward to them. However, his latest article about the ‘not for profit’ organizations in Kenya makes me wonder whether, indeed, he very well knows the institutions he wrote about.

There seem to be some glaring contradictions in his piece that I wish to point out. Sunny wrote, “They are clocking up impressive financial results”, whereas the topic was about the ‘not for profits’ in Kenya. Now, I ask myself, if these institutions are indeed what he says they are, where are the profits coming from? Isn’t someone somewhere duping us? ‘Not for profits’ making profits? Come-on!

Anyway, I have had the privilege of working for one of the institutions he wrote about. I worked for the Nairobi Hospital for three years, between 2005 and 2008. Thus, I could be privy to some information that he has probably never known. The good thing with this hospital is that, in trying to mask the profit they make, they conveniently term it as surpluses. Actually, there is no problem with such a “premier” institution to post some positive financial results. However, some of the methods with which they achieve the surpluses are almost unethical. I agree, ethics can be relative but, still, that doesn’t let them off the hook, at least here.

Ideally, you would expect an institution of that calibre to take good care of its staffs. However, nothing could be further from the truth.

While working for this hospital, I came to the sad realization that the much despised Kenyatta National Hospital (KNH) was in fact a better employer. My contemporaries in KNH were surprisingly paid better, worked less hours per week and had a more relaxed shift than us at the Nairobi Hospital. I acknowledge, though, the two hospitals played in different leagues.

Whereas one was an excellent medical institution, the other exemplified ineptness and corruption. Thus, you may think that I am not justified in comparing the two. However, the question I always asked myself, while working there, was; why should employees at the Nairobi Hospital work so hard yet be woefully compensated for their time and efforts? And, why should Kenyans, on the other hand, be paying taxing for such mediocre services at KNH when in fact most of their staffs, barring the doctors, were better paid than staffs at the elitist Nairobi Hospital?

The answers boil down to the key objective of the latter’s mission. The Nairobi Hospital, to me, was for one and one thing only; to make surpluses. It didn’t matter at whose expense.

The hospital, just like other ‘for profit’ institutions, had a board and ‘shareholders’. The ‘shareholders’ in this instance being members of the Kenya Hospital Association. Nonetheless, other than the discounts they get on services received, they ordinarily do not receive any dividends, as do normal shareholders. It always seemed to me that whatever the CEO did was just to please these two groups.

It was because of some of these policies that many employees left the hospital for greener pastures. In trying to reverse the huge staff turnover at the hospital, the management came up with a decision to review the salaries of all staffs. Sadly, their recommendation was not fair at all. Employees were compartmentalised into ‘surpluses making’ and ‘expending only’ departments. Thus, only the staffs who were working in the units that were deemed to be making money for the hospital were thought of being worthy of a pay rise. The rest were probably seen as some burden on the institution.

Thus, Sunny’s praise for this particular organization becomes questionable. On what merit do they deserve such accolades? And, can a great leader, actually, reward only a section of his subjects and still expect to get positive results for a long time? How, for example, will such a policy affect teamwork in the long run? And, what would be the implications of such short-sightedness to the performance of the organization? In my not so schooled mind, I believe even the junior-most staff of an organization is a valuable resource and should be treated as such. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have been employed in the first place.

The irony of working for such a revered institution was that most staffs could not afford the very services they offered. Contrast that with my friend who works for Emirates Airlines. Even though his is a ‘for profit’ organization they still grant their employees highly discounted tickets. Indeed, he pays for only a tiny fraction of the actual ticket’s cost. And, in Kenya, you have an institution where almost all the female staffs prefer to deliver at other cheaper hospitals, rather than pay exorbitantly for services they gladly offer to Nairobi Hospital’s clients.

Which makes me ask why they don’t provide comprehensive insurance covers for their employees? The cover we had while working there was so insufficient that it was not uncommon to see staffs enduring deductions for several months for some excess accrued, mostly due to emergency medical services. Of course, a good cover would affect the surpluses.

Despite this, I acknowledge Nairobi Hospital is a great institution that I can easily trust myself with, if, God forbid, I had to seek medical services somewhere. I wrote this knowing very well the difficulties with which some of my friends, who still work there, work under. I guess this would be for their good. Not that anyone has asked me to. I left the hospital out of my own accord. I thus have no bones to pick with anyone. I however, wish they improved on some of these things.